Sunday, August 19, 2007


"Men look at themselves in mirrors. Women look for themselves."- Elissa Melamed

So a conversation about feminism with Mark the other night got me thinking...reflecting if you will. We were talking about the choices women make- for example, if a woman chooses to stay at home and raise the kids, is this a "wrong" decision? Etc....

Well, our conversation has been rolling around in my head now for a few days and I want to share some of my thoughts and ask for yours as well...

My issue is not with the choices we as women make, but WHY we make them. If a woman wants to stay at home and raise her children, for me the issue is why does she want to do that? When the answer isn't "for her own self-fulfillment", then we have a problem.

So many of our actions and decisions are unfortunately governed by society- like thong underwear (I'll spare you that rant). Not all of these decisions are in our best interest, in fact some of them are down right harmful. The media fuels these ideas; magazines scream about the latest trends- Cosmo constantly offering us ways to please our man and lose 20 pounds at the same time!

Why? WHY? Why are we buying this crap ladies? Because it's what we think is expected of us? Because it's how we fit in?

Feminism encourages wait, I encourage you to examine your decisions. Really think about why you do the things you do, buy the products you buy, wear the things you wear. (Guys, this goes for you too...)
I'm right there with you, re-evaluating the decisions in my life.

When we look a little deeper we may start to realize the unintentional harm we do to ourselves and others simply to "fit in". We must be more mindful of our decisions.

This is the way to change the system- to be intentional and deliberate in our consumption and actions.


PS- Check out my double-jointed elbow. Ew.


kourtney said...

We are lucky-- is there anything as exhilarating for men as feminism is for women? :)
I'd love to hear your thong rant sometime, and see how it compares to mine.

stephanie said...

unintentional harm, highly agreed, but i will never give up my mile high shoes. and no, i don't wear them for men, i wear them for me. it's amazing the inner power one can claim when wearing stilettos.

i'm intrigued of the thong rant.

i think you and i should go and have coffee (or something stronger) and discuss various topics.

Laura said...

I would have to agree with you lindsey. I, unfortunatly, fall into the masses with buying into what the media says is right, wrong, fashionable, etc.., but why do I? Out of fear of feeling isolated. I judge myself by society standards to feel like I belong. I accept your challenge to make my decisions based on me and my own happiness.

Cardozo said...


If feminism is basically a revolt against sexual servitude, then I think men have as much to gain from it as women.

For a feeling, thinking, compassionate man..."benefiting" from the subjugation of women does us no good at all, psychologically. This is why many who identify as men would also identify as feminists.

PeterAtLarge said...

I agree, Lindsey, it IS all about consciousness and intention. It's when my actions are controlled by unconscious, reactive patterns--whether social, or determined by my own past history--that they can be self-destructive. Cheers, PaL