Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Honesty is such a lonely word

Okay, I'll admit it... I need some advice.
You, my loyal readers, are who I am turning to. Be anonymous if you like, but I'd like your opinion.

Where do you think one should draw the line between honesty and sparing someone's feelings?

I strive to live an honest life (although my fish have been known to get bigger as the stories get retold), but I also strive not to harm others.

If being honest with someone meant you were going to hurt them badly, is it worth it?
Or is avoidance a feasible answer?
Is lying by omission worse than lying to someone's face?



Anonymous said...

I think if they ask you what you think then you should tell them the truth, But if you are talking about giving you point of view to someone when it was not asked for then you souldn't say anything.

Anonymous said...

You can be honest and still be kind. When you give someone news you know will hurt them, keep their feelings in mind in how you say it. I think lying is more cruel than being honest in a thoughtful way... you lie to people who aren't worth the truth.

-Kat (who can't remember her blogger password)

Anonymous said...

Honesty is usually the best policy, but like Kat said, tact can be your best friend in situations like this. I suppose it depends on your relationship to the person: if you are close to the person in question and you think you'll be spending a lot of time with them in the future, it's much better to be straight with them from the beginning (or start being honest right away, at least), because you wouldn't want the dust of annoyance to agitate you until it becomes a pearl of hate, which is a lot harder to ignore. [/cheesy advice]

If you're speaking about a fellow employee, I would still opt for honesty, but there are definitely constructive, non-confrontational ways to approach a subject with honesty. :)

Cardozo said...

I'm a fan of the 10 to 1 rule. Unless one bit of criticism comes packaged right alongside of 9 bits of praise, it won't even be heard by most people. They'll just feel hurt and possibly betrayed.

kourtney said...

Being as honest as possible without reaching the level of "brutal" is usually the best option. The only reason I know this is the best option is because of how many times I've either not been as honest as possible or surprassed being brutally honest and entered what is known as "traumatically honest." It is just best to be concise, honest, compassionate, and kind.

You'll do the right thing.
I'm really excited to see you! You bet I'll be wearing my newly purchased $15 shoes! :) (Not $10, but $15 still pretty good!)