Sunday, May 27, 2007

Do you want your rib back?

I'm nursing the remnants of last night with an iced tea and blogs...
So rather than lying on the floor quietly letting my brain wander and avoiding bright lights I am going to inflict upon you something that has been rattling around inside my head this morning.

We were not meant to be alone.

Call me co-dependent if you must, but I've been seriously contemplating the idea of companionship and the role it plays in our lives lately. I'm no expert, but it seems to me that humans are naturally social creatures, that we constantly form relationships and seek out familiarity in the people around us. So it makes sense that we partner ourselves off and establish families; we perpetuate the cycle.

But why do we do it? What do we hope to gain out of those relationships?
Is it love and understanding? Are we simply afraid to face the world alone?
Or is it something as simple and biological as sex and procreation and we justify it by calling it love?

And why is it that I ask questions I can't answer? Haha...

I hate post-modernism. I want a meta-narrative, something that tells the whole story for everyone. Hell I'd take positivism- This is the way it is, end of story. Here's the formula for finding the perfect partner and these are the desired results. Because right now I feel like I'm crawling around in the dark without my contacts in.

I wish I could just hand it all over to a higher power. I wish I could honestly believe that I have nothing to do with who I wind up with; that my prince charming has been hand-picked and will be arriving at my door according to God's timing.

But I am SO TIRED of taking a back-seat in my relationships.
I want to do what I want.
I want to be with who I want to be with...not just the guy who wants me.
I'm breaking a bad habit I've had for oh... 8 years now and I'm okay with that.

I think the one of the biggest problems in friendships and other relationships is that we think we know what's best for the other person. We think we understand what they want and need.

But what if what people really want and need is for us to support them in their own decisions? To not take sides or judge, but simply let them be their own people.

This is meandering to far from the original point I didn't have...oh well.

I'm going to go sit outside and find the truth beyond Kevin's "Fight, Flight or Fuck Theory".
There has to be more than this.


Themindtaker said...

I always got a dirty looks back in high school youth group meetings at church when we were discussing the meaning of life and I invariably replied, "sex!"

Sensationalism aside, I do believe we were meant, for whatever reason, in whatever capacity, to propagate our species. I can't answer any of those questions you raise (though I ponder them often, I really do), but I can say with much certainty that many of our actions must have evolved from a rudimentary need to keep the human race alive.

At least, that's what my brain says... but now I'll take my realist hat off now and put my regular hopeless romantic hat back on. It's softer.

Ryan H. Paul said...

Jared has a book called "Men are from Sperm, Women are from Eggs". (I'm sure he's told you all about it) I started reading it after reading your post and it proposes some interesting ideas about why men and women are so different and why each does what they do. Is it accurate...who knows...but he does have interesting theories. You should check it out sometime.


kyle h said...

Nice entry. On page 5 of Howard Zinn's, A People's History of the United States, there is a fascinating description by a young priest, named La Casas, of the native Indians in what is now Cuba. He describes the way husbands and wives related to each other. I've wondered if we weren't mean for a different way of being.

Anyway, when my marriage was nearing divorce in 2000 honestly began to ask if God calls people OUT of a relationship, especially one where the two involved were not living to their potential. When it ended people could not understand how we could still be friends, how it could have possibly ended withouth a fight. We simply needed to move on.

There's something to be said for a familiar face, for the companionship, for not doing this whole thing alone. But finding someone to do that with where there is sanctuary in the relationship, safety in lowering all the sophisticated walls and defenses, is rare and difficult.

My problem with marriage ceremonies is that they reinforce a way of relating that doesn't work for me. I think there's a disconnect between the ritual and how were are truly supposed to be with each other.

Anyway, I'm off on a tangent. Strange that you would write such a thing in a time when I'm discussing with my current girlfriend about "what's next?"

Nate said...

hmm let's not be narrow-minded

we have to find a significant other so they can be a constant reminder that there is always someone not as cool as you


Jameson Huckaba said...

We all ask those same questions at some point. I know I certainly haven't found the answer. I'll make a million once I do, which will probably be never.

Stef said...

i actually have a lot to say about this entry but i'm at work so my creative juices are being put towards writing a mini history on dyskolos and menander, but i definitely have two cents to contribute. in short, i don't believe there is someone out there for everyone, at least not in that sense. we were given free will with a little bit of a roadmap but it's more of a coloring book where we fill in most of the picture to create anything from it.

Allie said...

I only have a few hours left in London, and to be honest I am running out of hope of running into Prince William- but if a miracle happens, he is definitely getting your digits. :-)