What A Man, What A Man, What A Mighty Good Man...

I wore high heels and pearls to my Theories and Methods class Thursday night.
I was going out to see Shawn's improv show afterwards (which, by the way, was really fun!), so it only made sense.

But oh the irony- I wore high heels and pearls to class on the night that the subject was religion and gender roles. How perfect.

That night we were discussing a section from Howard Eilberg-Schwartz's book "God's Phallus and Other Problems for Men and Monotheism". Now I've spent a fair amount of time in Women's Studies classes, but I'd never really been exposed to the area of "Men's Studies", so this was fascinating for me.

Eilberg-Schwartz talks about the idea of a masculine monotheistic God as problematic for men in Judeo-Christian culture, because God becomes this sort of "ideal beauty image" that men must live up to, but can never quite achieve. Freud would see it as a "projection of the ideal" upwards, whereas feminists would call it "a reflection of the problematic real".

There is also the problem of homo-eroticism that comes from the marriage analogy used by the scriptures. If men are to be married to God they must become homosexual (which is not acceptable in a patriarchal context where being masculine means procreating) or they must become feminized to avoid the homo-eroticism. He also talks about how God must be veiled in order to solve this problem; unlike other religions (Hinduism, Greek and Roman gods) we never see God's genitalia.

Also, we see Jesus portraying more feminine traits- loving, nurturing, healing, but (to paraphrase Eilberg-Schwartz) in the end he's still a man, a dragon slayer who must go it alone.

Hmm...It's really just too hard for many to conceptualize a completely spiritualized God with no physical or at the very least anthropopathic/anthropomorphic existence. Did God create man in God's own image, or did man create God in his?

I'm currently and slowly gliding into a research paper on the radical feminist philosopher Mary Daly so it was interesting to discuss the other gender's side of the story. So often I think we ignore the fact that men are victims of the patriarchal society in some ways too. That's not to say they don't profit from it more than women, but that profiting comes at a price.

It's too late to really dig in to this stuff and you, my faithful reader, probably don't care all that much...but I'd love to hear any thoughts you do have.

Hate Mail to PETA

Dear PETA-

I'm starting to think that you should change your name from "People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals" to "People for the Exploitation of Tits and Ass" (pardon my French).

I was absolutely APPALLED today when I visited your website and found your 2nd annual "State of the Union Undressed." Apparently when you state that all animals deserve to be treated with respect and dignity, you didn't include women in your definition of animals.

I was willing to give you a second chance PETA, but now I'm done.

-Lindsey the (sometimes) angry feminist

----

I'll save you the trouble of watching that video- basically the PETA spokesmodel speaks (full of innuendos) about how PETA has and will continue their "noble mission to end the exploitation and abuse of animals" but the kicker is that the whole time the woman is getting completely naked. Oh and this is the second year they've done this.

This isn't the only way PETA has exploited women's bodies, almost all of their campaigns involve nudity of some sort. They have a good, worthy cause but is it really necessary to add so much sex?

I sound like such a "prude" complaining about this, but is a little modesty too much to ask for?

I want to like PETA, I want to support PETA, but I don't want to feel like I need to get naked to do so. Oh well.

In other news, I'm giving up seafood for Lent (which means I'll be a complete vegetarian). Fat Tuesday tomorrow will find me gorging myself on sushi with Kat...mmmmm Philly rolls and unagi and whatever else I can get my hands on. Fish are friends...not food!

*Spoiler Alert* 27 Dresses

So while I'm usually all for supporting the film industry, I have to admit that I did something rather unethical and watched a boot-legged Japanese recording of "27 Dresses" online last night. Yeah maybe the whole screen wasn't in the shot the whole time, and maybe there was a hand that covered the lens a few times, but you get what you pay for eh? :-)

It was an enjoyable chick-flick, that's for sure, but I was rather disappointed in the ending.
(Like I said.... *SPOILER ALERT*)

Jane (the protagonist) spends most of the movie mooning over her boss, who has fallen in love and plans on marrying her sister. Jane, as you can probably guess from the trailer, is the ultimate bridesmaid who helps and worries about everyone else instead of herself. The first 3/4 were full of fun, expected witty banter, humorous situations and of course, the 27 dresses ("You could totally shorten it and wear it again!").

However, the end takes a strange turn as Jane completely humiliates her sister at the engagement party and (sort of) tells her boss that she's over him only to chase after the jackass wedding column writer she's known for a few weeks....because she suddenly realizes he's "The One".

I know, I know...it's a chick flick, I shouldn't be so shocked, but it got me thinking. The wedding industry is huge, raking in something like $90 billion dollars a year. Bridal shows, bridal magazines, bridal consultants, even whole reality shows devoted to fabulous weddings with all the trimmings. Wedding porn is EVERYWHERE.

But why? You can't tell me that it's some sort of female instinct to want to spend thousands of dollars to wear a 50 lb. frilly dress for a few short hours. It isn't natural to worry about seating arrangements, proper engagement announcement etiquette and stress about the details down to the table linens. So who or what is to blame?

I think the only answer is capitalism. The Western consumeristic/materialistic ideals permeate the marriage ceremony and people are getting rich off of brides swept up into the whirlwind of having their "dream wedding". The wedding industry reinforces gender stereotypes and tells us we should want to want things...lots of things!

But that's neither hear nor there, because my real question is-

Can you be a feminist and support capitalism?

I am so not a fan of state-approved granny panties and lately I've been giving into the consumerist machine (But I totally needed that Jack LaLanne power juicer!) but I can't help but cringe when I think about how I'm fueling the industry that causes all sorts of image, body and debt issues in young people. So what's a girl to do?
(Probably not what I'm doing right now, which is O.D.ing on French Twists from Barry's Bakery and watching 1 v. 100...I could totally beat the mob. If you made it through that long winded rant, here's a photo of my favorite bridesmaid dress from Kat's wedding!)

The Grumpy Feminist

"Feminism is a struggle to end sexist oppression. Therefore, it is necessarily a struggle to eradicate the ideology of domination that permeates Western culture on various levels as well as a commitment to reorganizing society so that the self-development of people can take precedence over imperialism, economic expansion, and material desires.” -bell hooks

This is what I looked like on the inside during REL 601 today.

We were discussing feminist and gender critiques of religion (Rita Gross and Marsha Hewitt) as well as feminist reconstructions of religion.

Jen and I, being the ones to present for the day, were on top of our game and ready to roll. This was our thing, what we're interested in..the sort of thing that really fascinates me.

But then it happened...the same way it always happens. We're literally two sections into Jen's outline on the Rita Gross reading and all of a sudden the men are on the defensive.

One of them starts spouting off about how this feminist propaganda is completely anti-male; another starts some sort of strange rant about how even if we have women's studies, there aren't that many significant women to study and therefore spending 50% of your time on women would take vital time away from the vast array of significant men to study. Oh and then we wasted ten minutes listening to the discussion of how women aren't considered "other", and I quote..."I mean, they may be lesser humans but they're still humans".

I spent most of my time biting my pen, because to me feminism and religious studies are about dialogue, about listening to the others around you and seeking understanding...but how do you seek understanding when those around your are on the defensive?

I'll admit it- I threw away any sort of skillful means I may have been endowed with and just straight up went on the attack. Which, if you know me, means I said one mean thing very politely in a way that no one understood I was being mean. Ha!

If I understand correctly, the main complaint of the "propaganda" guy was that women's studies is just like affirmative action. He offered the metaphor of a pendulum, saying that perhaps it has swung in the direction of androcentrism (male centered) focus, but insisting on women's studies simply pushes it way too far in the other direction.

I couldn't chew on my pen any longer. I calmly offered this-

The problem with the pendulum in our society is that we see it as "normal" and "centered" when in all actuality it is stuck quite far on the androcenterist side. An emphasis on women's studies and gender does not push the pendulum too far the other direction, but rather seeks to bring it back to center. It will take time of course, but a push in the other direction is necessary to bring us back to center.

It is so frustrating to me when men jump to the defensive when it comes to discussing feminism. Feminism is not man-hating...it is all encompassing. Those two particular men in my class made it quite clear the inherent patriarchal fear of losing their position in society.

Ahh well. Boys will be boys eh? I'm not discouraged...just grumpy.

Reflection

"Men look at themselves in mirrors. Women look for themselves."- Elissa Melamed

So a conversation about feminism with Mark the other night got me thinking...reflecting if you will. We were talking about the choices women make- for example, if a woman chooses to stay at home and raise the kids, is this a "wrong" decision? Etc....

Well, our conversation has been rolling around in my head now for a few days and I want to share some of my thoughts and ask for yours as well...

My issue is not with the choices we as women make, but WHY we make them. If a woman wants to stay at home and raise her children, for me the issue is why does she want to do that? When the answer isn't "for her own self-fulfillment", then we have a problem.

So many of our actions and decisions are unfortunately governed by society- like thong underwear (I'll spare you that rant). Not all of these decisions are in our best interest, in fact some of them are down right harmful. The media fuels these ideas; magazines scream about the latest trends- Cosmo constantly offering us ways to please our man and lose 20 pounds at the same time!

Why? WHY? Why are we buying this crap ladies? Because it's what we think is expected of us? Because it's how we fit in?

Feminism encourages us....no wait, I encourage you to examine your decisions. Really think about why you do the things you do, buy the products you buy, wear the things you wear. (Guys, this goes for you too...)
I'm right there with you, re-evaluating the decisions in my life.

When we look a little deeper we may start to realize the unintentional harm we do to ourselves and others simply to "fit in". We must be more mindful of our decisions.

This is the way to change the system- to be intentional and deliberate in our consumption and actions.

Thoughts?

PS- Check out my double-jointed elbow. Ew.

Kiss My Tiara

I'm guilty. I'm guilty of doing the "Well I'm not REALLY a feminist but..." thing.

I don't want to be radical or be perceived as man-hating. I want to sit comfortably in my liberal feminism and while secretly resenting society, wear high heels and lipstick.

But sometimes I can't sit comfortably. Facebook yesterday was advertising a special series of episodes that the soap opera "One Life to Live" is doing. It's called "Prom Night the Musical" and normally I wouldn't have given it a second look but I was bored.

Now, I'm pissed.
I'm sorry but when did "bitch" become an acceptable word to use on daytime television? And since when is it an acceptable word to describe a female in general? Man I sound old and conservative, but why do we women put up with this crap? By allowing that sort of language to become acceptable and commonplace, we're allowing discrimination and subjugation to become commonplace as well.

We haven't "reclaimed it". It's like we're trying to be in on the joke, laughing along with those who would portray us as "other"...*grumble grumble grumble*

Now I'm watching Oprah and middle-aged women are learning how to strip. Oh how glamorous! I'm all for women feeling sexy in their own bodies, for enjoying sex and having healthy sexual relationships with men, but why are we glorifying a profession that does nothing but objectify? What's next? How to have sex like a prostitute?

Ugh. I'm off my soap-box. There's not much I can do from here. I can't wait to get to camp in July, to have time with all those 8th grade girls and to let them know that they are perfect the way they are...that they don't need to give into societal pressure like this. That we females need to work together and support each other instead of calling each other "bitch" and "whore".

I'm going to go burn my bra.

(Click on the picture below to see a bigger version...it made me stop and think for a minute. I'd love to hear your thoughts.)